It's been 2 years, 4 months, 20 days since my last post...

This is probably the length of time since my Dad's diagnosis of asbestosis. He passed away last December. In my free time, I found myself wanting to escape into other things, and of course the Machinima Expo took up much of my online attention.

Now that the work of the screening team has been completed for 2013, I'm ready to make a change. So leaving the very able Ricky Grove in charge I've stepped down as Executive Producer. Damien Valentine has very kindly offered to take over as head of the screening group.

 My time with the Expo has been the kind of education that poiticians seem to wish on our current crop of teenagers. ie I have learned a lot of useful stuff, including;

1. How to work in a team without driving each other crazy (ok 75% of the time the not crazy thing, but no kittens were harmed, and things got done)
2. How much work and commitment is required to get things done.
3. How in order to kid ourselves that next year would be easier, and less work, we needed to mix things up. 
4. How doing this causes more work in the end.
5. How it is ok that there are no perfect solutions, or perfect people, and if we got to the end, and got it done, we were winning.
6. How it was necessary, for at least the holiday season to believe that next year, we wouldn't be doing it all. 
7. How, because of the previous hows, when it did come the time to leave, I didn't really recognise it and carried on longer than I should. 
8. How (possibly most important learning of all) making mistakes, and geting things wrong are all part of getting things right. That the people who do things, are the ones who find ways to get it wrong and live with it,and try another thing the next day.
9. How doing something, can sometimes cut you off from the thing that inspired the thing in the first place, and so you forget why you are doing what you are doing and can get demotivated. 
10. How to be a bit braver about putting myself out there, and saying what I think. 
11. How those 'unimportant, ephemeral hobby' activities can turn out to be more central to people's lives than any job title, and how well you get to know people because of that. 
12. How (lastly) things will not fall apart if I am not there to stick them back together, so it is ok to go and do what I need to do.

 I have a huge amount to thank Ricky for. Many of the above nuggets of knowledge were forged amongst the tides and chaos of Expo. He pushed me to do things I would not have been brave enough to try. He taught me that it is ok to 'stagedive' a project, to set out without the end in sight, and to trust that things will work out.

 So much changes in a year, a year online even more so. Plans are written in sand. The machinima community ebbs and flows, reacts to changing technology and economic circumstance. During my time at the Expo, we as a community have shivered under the cold wind of recession. Been washed along in a publishing revolution. Felt the loss of freedom as large organisations sought to squeeze extra revenues from their previously free and easy ecosystems.

 I want to get back in touch with that community, and feel its pulse. I want to be able to watch and comment on movies, outside the confidentiality of the screening group. I want to have time to spend just enjoying hanging out with machinima peeps, and finally I want to explore my own creative work and find out which direction this new path will take. Thank you for your patience, I'm back! Kate